Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Now that I'm pregnant, my life has taken on a different perspective when it comes to work. My husband and I are both professionals in the tech industry, and have carved out pretty successful careers for ourselves. I myself am a manager, and have worked my way up to this level over the last few years. I get a pretty good paycheck, and DH and I have created a comfortable life for ourselves in terms of our home and the other various items we can afford to splurge on based on a decent amount of disposable income.

I try to picture what it will be like when Kiwi arrives. Will I want to work anymore, or will I have the unending desire to be a stay-at-home Mom? Most of the Moms in our neighborhood stay home, and I have heard through the neighborhood grapevine (not that I partake much in that sort of thing) that the general view of these women towards working mothers is not a good one. Not that this would make or break the decision for me; it's just an interesting side note.

My husband is against me being a stay at home Mom, because he thinks I can do both. He tends to look at things more pragmatically when it comes to this issue. He figures we have both paid due diligence in our careers, so why should I give mine up and the lifestyle that we have come to enjoy as a result? Don't get me wrong, he is not a materialistic shmuck like this may make him appear...but I think that he has witnessed his own mother and my sisters doing the same thing and he and their kids have turned out fine. He has also witnessed stay at home moms that tend to lose a bit of themselves in their kids, and when it's time to go back to work - they don't have the confidence and/or tools needed to stick their toes back in the water.

Knowing myself as I do, I don't think I'm suited to be a stay-at-home mom indefinitely. Right now I am planning to take 5-6 months off for maternity leave, but I think I'll be ready to go back when the time is up. But who the heck knows how I'll feel until I'm really in that situation?

So the current dilemma is this - there are some job openings in my company that would allow me to go back to being an individual contributor (read this as a non-manager) and still take home the same pay. I would have less responsibility, and arguably a lower-pressure job as a result. I would also have more opportunity to work from home, allowing me flexibility with the baby's schedule. Although this would be somewhat of a "step down" in terms of my job level, I think this could be a good way to balance the demands of motherhood and career, but not try to be a superwoman amidst it all. I have a week to consider the job openings before I have to decide whether to apply or not. I happen to know one of the hiring managers, and she told me she'd start heavily weeding out candidates next week, and to let her know if I do apply so she can look for my application. So it seems like I might have a foot in the door for that particular opportunity.

My husband is out of town this week, so I'm trying to gather my thoughts so we can discuss more fully this weekend. I guess in the meantime I should update my resume since it won't hurt to have it updated even if I decide not to apply.

I wish I didn't have to worry about all this very adult type of crap, and could just kick back, enjoy my pregnancy, and dream about babies :) But that is not how the cookie crumbles, eh?