Selecting the Right Sperm

So the whole process of selecting which donor sperm you want to go with has been a mix of fascination, trepidation, amusement, and still some sadness. I am able to go through this process almost as if it's an extension of browsing through one of my favorite catalogs (yes, I'm a shopper). Let's see, do I want the guy with the dark hair and eyes, or should we go for one of those Nordic donors? Ooh, there's an exotic section of donors who are comprised of unique backgrounds, too. Ok - a little too exotic.

Having always been an extremely organized individual, I take to this task as though it's a series of items I need to check off of my to-do list. Make a list of qualities you want the sperm donor to possess...check...set up an account with the sperm bank...check...check insurance coverage on infertility...check...setup an appointment with a couples therapist...check...But sometimes I put the brakes on my full-steam-ahead mentality when I can see in my husband's eyes that this is still hurting him. And then I question whether this is still the right path to pursue. We'll go for days and sometimes even weeks without discussing this topic in depth, but every time we bring it up - he still wants to pursue it. I do, too. So we move on.

We browsed through the donor catalog for several weeks before we started to narrow down the choices. It finally came down to 2 donors, and number 1 was the clear winner in our eyes. Number 2 was in the running too, but we just thought we'd nailed it with all the similarities to my husband that we'd identified in the front-runner. The last step we opted to pursue was to have the sperm bank perform a photographic match of my husband to these final candidates. The results were very surprising - my husband matched almost perfectly to the 2nd donor! The lady on the phone even said that they could pass for brothers. And yes - he was a very poor match to the guy which we orginally thought had been "the one". So after a brief discussion, we opted to go with Number 2, and ordered up his goods to be delivered and stored at my doctor's office.