When we first learned about the diagnosis, we started to discuss adoption. I tried to picture how I would react adopting a child, and thought that felt ok. I had to bite my tongue because when my husband first mentioned donor sperm (per his urologist's suggestion), he quickly dismissed it as something he didn't think he could ever go through. So as quickly as my hopes were raised that I could still have the baby be a part of me, they were dashed by my husband who didn't think he could bring himself to go that route. I decided to not verbalize the hurt I felt, because we were both hurting enough already. Besides, adoption could still work out great. We both knew several families that had adopted, and were very happy and fulfilled.
I started researching adoption on the internet, and was quickly overwhelmed at what I found. There are domestic and international options, and it seemed that the international route was more promising, just because of the increased chances of adopting an infant, which is what we wanted. We both thought it would be neat to adopt from China, and I was also excited to see we could potentially adopt a Vietnamese child. I even emailed a lady who headed up one of the Vietnam adoption agencies, but it didn't feel quite right. Deep down, I still wanted to investigate the donor sperm option, and I knew it was time to talk to my husband about it. Adoption would have to wait for now.
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